So back to the NY Resolution...

Back to Reality. What is reality? My reality is no longer something I recognize! I had first time mommy friends who, after giving birth, felt insignificant and less, somehow, than what they were before having their children. I didn't really understand that until now. Don't get me wrong. The birth of my daughter is a miracle and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I guess that is why these emotions are a little confusing. Shouldn't this be the happiest time of my life? On one hand it is and on the other I feel incredibly blue and lost. I realize some of this stems from not working. I have not worked since the middle of August. I knew it would be difficult to go back to work on my salary and be able to afford day care. I simply can't do it. I am praying and contemplating moving back to Oklahoma to be closer to family. It just seems like the right thing to do...well...no..it FEELS like the right thing to do. I need my family. Lailey needs my family.